Tuesday, December 9, 2008

When you fall in love.

When you fall in love .... do you see only the vision of your love?
Is it riddled with mistakes and misguided pictures?
Did you not know that he secretly hated the way your hair fell backwards?
Did you not know that she had a love for Hitler but never shared?

When you fall in love ... will you give yourself permission to fall ...
out of love? You are allowed to be mistaken and you are allowed to be wrong too..
Changing your mind is acceptable you know ...
But it can still be hard ... hard to change ... and move away ... to find another.

I love him. I know that he is a pig. I know that he is a brute. A b*stard!
But he was kind, and he was gentle, and he listened, and he was true.
Does your heart know what it wants? Does it trust its own guidance?
But I do not love the angry, ugly face. Perhaps that is not he?

We behave as we are taught ..... or so it seems. Do we know what we are inside?
What we really love? What we really need? What we really long for?
You are wrong! You must not feel this way. You must not be like this.
I must punish myself for being wrong... and misguided, and stupid.

Or you can take another path. A strange and magical and mystical path.
You can trust your heart's longing. You can give it permission and smooth it over.
You can have your dreams and cry for the beloved. You can tell the world to F*ck Off
It may lead in circles ... it may cut you mercilessly ... you may cry ... and die?

I trust love .... I choose to hear my heart's ways ... and I smile for the mystery.
It hurts sometimes but I search for the song with meaning, and I listen to it.
I remember his smile and I remember his animation and I recall his kindness.
And I choose to love him, he does not love you, he does not love you!!

I choose to love.

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