Sometimes you get to a stage in your life when the criticisms do not mean anything.
You are 'difficult', you are 'impossible', you are 'a bad person'...
So be it, I can live with this! So, I am difficult, impossible and bad!
I know that I am obsessive at times and of course 'unreasonable'!
Who is Doctor Kiss you might ask and why should I care!?
The point is that it does not matter ... not at all .. N-O-T!!
I don't blog for you, I don't seek your approval and your liking,
My blogging is for my benefit and I am happy if it goes unnoticed.
It is my hobby and it is my diversion... I do not belong to the world.
Well, yes and no .... perhaps a little and perhaps not at all!
So, back to my own self-indulgence and my own musings...
Back to my own self-obsessed world ... back to the man I love.
Doctor John Kenneth Kiss .... He is a world beater some say.
Tough, manly, a 'real' man... sons take note, he is Good!
Why do I love him? And maybe 'indecently' too? Not sure really!?
It makes no sense ... love often makes no sense...
But so what? I don't demand that this world has to fit in place,
And be tidy .... and be right .... and be lovely and 'perfect'.
I trust my heart! Is it full of 'evil'? God knows.
Love does not feel bad to me ... it does not!
The world has said that I am 'mad' and then changed it to 'bad'.
But this is irrelevant to me, I worry not about such things.
I would never have chosen to love a man such as John,
It would have never been a choice that I would have blessed.
He is older and more worldly than I and he is looked up to,
Perhaps he deserves this admiration, perhaps?
I don't see a community leader and a respectable 'Sir',
I just see a beautiful person that has captured my heart.
When he gives a speech and sounds righteous and proud,
I see him naked and as helpless as a child, I see innocence.
He is a family man, he is an 'upright soul' and a 'winner',
But what a waste! The right thing must be done of course! Of course!?
Do not listen to the 'wicked', undisciplined one ... the man of passions!
He will only lead your life in to the flames ... a solid, hard ending!
Whoop de doo! So he slipped a little. So, he let me hug him warmly.
He still wore the ring and I didn't try to steal him away!
I did not say ... leave the children and revel in a 'sinful' path.
I did not say ... reject your wife and refuse to turn to her again.
I simply offered to hug him and to undress him for awhile, to love him.
But this is the way of the 'devil'! Perhaps? But it is still life.
I wished for him to call out in ecstasy and to make furrows in the skin,
He would not be 'taken' for eternity .... but perhaps I stray from the path.
Maybe I do want him and perhaps I would not allow him to be free from the embrace,
And perhaps he would be conflicted and torn and not happy .... Not true!
Life is a mystery and it does twist and it does turn and I do not feel that it is bad
I do not feel that my love for John is wrong or in any way 'incorrect', it is true.
I shall continue to think of him and I shall continue to long and want him.
And I shall smile at the fire in my body and the beatings of life .... and love.
John Kiss is the man I love and the world shakes it head in anger. NO MORE!!
But I shall not listen to the rants! Lead me to the woodpile and the noose ...
Still I smile, still I call for John and still I imagine him naturally.....
Doctor John Kenneth Kiss ... You are in my heart ... and I shan't say 'Sorry'!!
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