First up, I am not really a preener. I don't have every hair in place and I don't dress like a dandy and I am not going to be up with the latest everything, 24 hours a day. It just does not appeal.
I am a fairly natural type of guy and I am not an extremist in any way (in my opinion). But here is where life can be strange. I just don't really dig 'gay' men. I'm not huge on the married 'committed' type of guy either; my sister's partner appeals to many (it seems). He is gregarious and a hard worker and a big smiler but my gut feels that he possibly f*cks around on the side or that he is just not that sincere sometimes. You sometimes really hate people like this and may not be fully sure why.
But back to 'gay' men. I don't intellectualize how I feel really. I just feel put out by the whole 'queer culture' thing. I am not going to be a popularity contest winner in the gay community, not in a public sense, as I 'threatened to kill' a big celebrity in this world, Ian Roberts (Sydney identity). I'm not admitting or denying anything on this one. Some gay men have taken swipes at me because of the Ian episode. Vicious, vicious, vicious!
I believe in freedom of speech but it seems that one problem with the whole 'gay' world is that a lot of the 'free speech' is very under cover and hidden and 'in the dark'. Why not say what you feel in the broad light of day? Sometimes this may be impractical but I think at times you have to stand up and prove yourself by being open about the world and to the world. No-one wants to be attacked but I think that you will likely shrivel and die if you don't square with the world sometimes.
I like to tease at times and have an offbeat sense of humor. I'm amazed at how 'precious' some 'gay' men are about jokes. And if they decide that you are 'gay' or even 'partly gay' then you may be ripped apart if you 'offend'. Unacceptable darling and so are you, it seems twisted and complicated.
Some 'gay' men have called me 'hot', 'good-looking'. It has been flattering at times but I have rarely been able to get close to 'gay' men. There always seem to be walls up and blockages. And if you get anywhere near the 'going to bed' stage, a thousand games and ploys often appear.
Maybe I have missed something. Maybe I am programmed to be 'homophobic' at times but I don't really think so; I don't like some people and I am not always sure of the exact reasons for this. I JUST DON'T LIKE THEM!!
The world seemed a little less complex before the whole gay rights movement. I guess it was necessary but it seems that the visible and public displays create even more anger at times. The Sydney Mardi Gras seems blatantly excessive at times. Should children be watching men on floats simulating sexual intercourse!? I think not. Yet, having said this, I'm not sure if my blog here will have an adult warning slapped on it and hey, maybe it should, as I am a bit direct and blunt.
It is hard to have opinions on life and not get tied up in knots with your own so called hypocrisy. Complicated, complicated, complicated ...... but sometimes I hate gay men!