I don't care if I am repetitive,
I don't mind if this all remains unread.
This does not worry me.
The world calls me 'gay' but I don't know what this is really.
I am not hung up on the fact that I love a man.
And you can read this and I shall not mind.
His name is John and I think he is beautiful!
Sure, he is hard and world weary and 'in charge'.
That is how he is raised I should think.
He is older than I am, and 'respectable'.... apparently?
And I shall love him and not care what the world says.
It is silly and vain and pointless ..... Perhaps?
I love Doctor John and maybe he does not love me?
But I bet he does .... in a way .... yes.
I bet I could still make him smile with my games.
It is wrong, it is wrong, it is wrong, it is wrong!
Of course it is wrong! But not to me!
You should not love a man who is married...
But I don't know for sure that he is married,
He has no feeling for you, you are mistaken.
I don't even care if so, I still love him!
My family treats me from a distance,
Maybe it is because I love Doctor John?
My roommate questions me and chides me.
Maybe the world responds to my love,
Responds badly and with anger,
Responds with judgement and ire.
But I do not care, not at all!
I love Doctor John... I love him.
It makes no sense they may say!
Be a decent man and find a life!
Do not deviate from being 'normal'.
Look for a wife to be yours...
But I do not want to ... I do not!
Because I love Doctor John.
I love and I love and I love.