I don't want to be a real man!

I like looking a pictures of naked women in Playboy sometimes ... but I probably won't tug myself over them. My mind seems to enjoy the same fantasy over and over again when I pleasure myself ... having love with an old man. THAT IS SO F*CKING WARPED!!, he says.

But I do not care. THAT IS SO UNHOLY AND WRONG, the churches lament... but I do not care.

I don't like the taste of beer. Drink with the boys in the pub. Nope! A gay man offers me a beer ... I drank it (stupidly?) but I didn't like the taste... and I didn't like him really. He was welcoming and said I could return and laughed with his buddy on the phone.

I am cranky and I am reveling in Britney Spear's tunes ... for a short time. I get gooey over the whole word and world of Balenciaga. I don't own any, I just like to think that I am loved and glamorous and elitist ... but not for long.

I daydream of the man in the suit and want to push his wife in the sludge. He can be mine for now .... but not for long. Maybe the wife could pay me to be her toy boy ... but not now.

I like ACDC ... but they suck for being so d*mn everywhere! I hate my roommate; he is a pretend Nazi at times and calls himself Bruno, but then he gives me chocolates and cookies and I like him ... but not for long. I wanted him at first ... but not for long.

I would like to be Madonna's younger lover and touted as the 'stud who satisfies the Queen', but not for long. I want to piss allover my family and tell them what phonies they are ... I don't care if they hate me for calling my mother a b*tch (bitch). It is in the dictionary .... it says 'spiteful woman'. She has been and I think she is f*cking awful ... but not for long .... hopefully.

I'm too lazy to get married or not the type or not interested or don't smell right for a woman to want to get hitched with me. You will smell right only to a gay, bulbous eyed lover from Haight-Ashbury .... I meant Castro Street. F*ckin' Oxford, the guy is an Aussie for Chr*st's sake! .... but not for long?

I don't want to be a real man. I like my 'despicable' (note italics) fantasies about the married man. Of course I want to take him to bed and love his scent and his angry passions .... but not for long?

I'm not a real man .... I'm an unreal man ..... I'm just a man... for long ... (?)