Tuesday, September 30, 2008

★ (5th Letter To America) ~ So A Threesome With Ms Palin Is Out Of The Question Then!? ★



M., strange times are upon us!

Yesterday, I received a UPS envelope that contained a $3000 (USD) check from an organiztion in Philadelphia (from what I could tell)! I was instructed to pocket a generous portion of it and send the balance to an orphanage in Ohio! What the!? It all seems above board with addresses and bank details (I Googled!)

Ain't life grand!

So, with a few more 'lovely numbers' such as this, you and I shall be jetting off to the Maldives for a 'recovery holiday'! (Recovering from what!? Well .... the Governor of Alaska is becoming increasingly 'frightful' and Voldemort like! J.Mc is scary enough as it is ..... NOW THIS!!! - my head, is swimming, somebody get me the smelling salts - post haste!

I'm very 'aristocratic' in manner when I go away! Everything is just 'super darling', tres exquisite and v.v. 'Fab!'. Simply delish! (Which, reminds me; my latest literary creation, 'Binky' Poddington-Wordsworth, a socialite from the Upper East Side, with an annoying penchant for Christie's 'must haves or I shall simply expire on te spot!' is a voracious anti-Palin campaigner! Binky does not approve of Ms P, oh Lordy no! She said to me (sotto voce of course) ... "Must have words with thee my sweet, 'tis about that frightful lass from Alas-y-ka! Oh my ..... I said 'Pet', I said 'Love', I said 'Sweets', I said 'Hon', I said 'Ducks .... this appallingly dressed 'apparition' (referring to 'Ms Palin') is simply stomach-turning! The hair, that ghastly way she does her eyeliner and, Don't get me started on her wardrobe .... I thought I would simply die! Shivering with the horror of it all! Bring back Jackie O - now 'there' was style! Must dash, Chiquita needs her walkies and then it's off to the Astor's for my bridge date ... Toodle-loo Pet! .... I must say, I'm loving that color on you ..... Subl-l-l-l-liiime!" .... Binky knows what's 'in' and what's 'out' I can assure you!

Enough of my fun 'n' games! I am planning to write a 'syrupy' mucsical in the style of 'High Society' or 'Showboat' all about the lives of musically talented and quintessentially romantic 'boroughed' fools! Big band melodies and sugar lyrics to tease and please .... a bit of a Gerswhin 'aura' chucked in, shake up, stir, and serve to the Cinema going hoards! ..... with one twist, one delicious catch! Every character in the film is a reformed herion junkie, cross-dressing, trans-gendered 'freak'! (note italics). Yes, the 'excluded' shall have their moment in the sun - Drag Queens who can do Grace K. to a 'T'! .... Couldn't chya just die!? (winks)

Love and a hug,
Dave.

P.S. ..... the curtains go up, the scene is Central Park on a cold winter's day, a few people straggle across the footbridge over the lake and the camera does a wide panoramic sweep to focus in on me looking buff, cheeky and ever so twee! ..... then I start to sing, holding up a discrete sign 'Dedicated to my sweet Marky - the only angel from above!' .... then, the rich tones of ....
'Fairy tales can come true, it can happen to you
If youre young at heart
For its hard, you will find, to be narrow of mind
If youre young at heart

You can go to extremes with impossible schemes
You can laugh when your dreams fall apart at the seams
And life gets more exciting with each passing day
And love is either in your heart or on its way

Dont you know that its worth every treasure on earth
To be young at heart
For as rich as you are its much better by far
To be young at heart

And if you should survive to 105
Look at all youll derive out of being alive
Then here is the best part
You have a head start
If you are among the very young at heart

And if you should survive to 105
Look at all youll derive out of being alive
Then here is the best part
You have a head start
If you are among the very young.... at...... heart....'' I'm joined at the end of the last chorus by a buxom pair of black transvestites who cover me in snuggly schmoozy embraces and a thousand kissies! Oh glee, oh rapture! I wonder if our darling friend Sarah would approve!? Tra-la-la!!! :-) x

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