Things You Need To Be A Celebrity!

A great publicist!

As simple as all that? I can almost hear your incredulous tone! Let's face it, the world of celebrities is all about the best marketing and 'placement of product'.

Surely no sane person truly believes that many of the Hollywood 'greats' got where they are on sheer talent alone! After-all, is Paris Hilton the ubiquitous Goddess of High-style because of her innate God-given abilities? Yep, you bet she is!

Here is an indispensable list of 'must-haves' in order to make it big! Besides having the top-line publicist, you should also possess (in no particular order of gloss mind you):

(a) Fabulous genes so that your stunning (make-up enhanced) beauty will dazzle 'em!

(b) Some modicum of talent, whether it be acting, modeling, singing, writing. If all else fails, brush up on your tips for fantastic, mind-blowing love-making ... just in case huh!

(c) It helps to actually grow up in one of the Celebrity factories such as Hollywood or at the very least in the more fashionable parts of the New York theater scene. So make sure you are born into the right family darling, how hard can that be huh?

(d) Have a great dress sense, the world of red carpets simply demands this! Alternatively, paying a great stylist to do the dirty work may save you.

(e) Prepare award acceptance speeches in advance. And make sure that you are very authentic looking with the 'Oh My God!' shocked look when your name is read out. Be gracious and teary and thank your Mum!

(f) Staying power! You must have this as you will be waiting in line alot to attend auditions etc. Hang in there!

(g) A natural ability to couple with the right people in order to advance your career. Make sure to be seen with the latest Hollywood A-lister in all the right public arenas. (Being photographed in toilet cubicles while drunk off your face is not advisable however! Tom Cruise or Julia Roberts couldn't save you from the tabloid spanking, even if you happened to be hitched to one of the above. So take care!)

If all of this fails to get you sparkling for the essential photo-shoots and Tinseltown shindigs, then do the only thing that will save your flagging career. Make a fool of yourself at the Oscars, guaranteed to send the publicity mill into overtime! It's a no-brainer really!

Or as a last resort, I guess you could ring Paris Hilton's publicist and ask how the hell they did it!?

By Fatherspirit

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